The First Comedienne

Laura Bush is a funny woman. No, really, not “there must be something wrong
with her” type of funny, but, funny-funny as in she can tell a mean joke. Or
at least that’s how she came across at the White House Correspondents’ Association
Dinner this past Saturday night. According to Dan
of the Washington Post who reported the story.

Some of the out takes of Mrs. Bush’s jokes:

  • “George always says he’s delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney.
    He’s usually in bed by now. I’m not kidding. I said to him the other day, ‘George,
    if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you’re going to have to stay up
    later.’ I am married to the president of the United States, and here’s our typical
    evening: Nine o’clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I’m watching ‘Desperate
    Housewives’ — with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate
  • “But George and I are complete opposites — I’m quiet, he’s talkative,
    I’m introverted, he’s extroverted. I can pronounce ‘nuclear’. The amazing thing,
    however, is that George and I were just meant to be. I was the librarian who
    spent 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow I met George.”
  • “So many mothers today are just not involved in their children’s lives. Not
    a problem with Barbara Bush. People often wonder what my mother-in-law’s really
    like. People think she’s a sweet, grand motherly, Aunt Bea type. She’s actually
    more like, mmm, Don Corleone.”
  • “I saw my in-laws down at the ranch over Easter. We like it down there.
    George didn’t know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and
    Yale don’t have a real strong ranching program. But I’m proud of George. He’s
    learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the
    horse. What’s worse, it was a male horse.”
  • “Now, of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails,
    taking down trees, or, as the girls call it, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. George’s
    answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw — which
    I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well.”

Who would have thunk it? A smart, successful, capable woman would marry beneath her… Oh, yeah, that’s right, I had to remember what planet we live on. Smart, funny, capable women marry beneath themselves all the time.

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